Kelly’s Bit on the Side

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Turning into her driveway, blonde Kelly Dryden stopped to open the gates but by the time she was out of the car her passing neighbor, just three houses along Wentworth Avenue, was opening the gates for her. She moved forward to talk to Gus Matheson, calling out hi.

His green eyes raked her.

“God you look great. I love leather suits on women who also are wearing patterned stockings.”

Kelly flushed, not knowing what to say.

“I say, weren’t you a much darker shade of blonde earlier in the week?”

“Yes, how smart of you to notice. I’m just returning from having it highlighted.”

“Well it looks great.”

Gus began walking homeward.

“Wait, would you like coffee and a cookie?”

Practically all his very white teeth showed. “Is Don home?”

“He will be in about an hour.”

“Well I decline with regret, having no desire to set vigilant neighbors chattering.”

“It’s okay; I can wear that.”

“No a beautiful woman like you should not have her reputation besmirched. Thank you all the same.”

She was disappointed and said “Bye.”

“Bye,” he smiled.

At thirty-eight Kelly was no longer hearing anyone calling her beautiful. She had been once but good looking was about as far as anyone went these days. And yet Gus Matheson had bent the truth and said she looked beautiful, appealing to her vanity.

Kelly’s pussy seemed to twitch.

“Ohmigod,” she blushed, and thought about what Gus Matheson might like to do with her pussy. The guy was a writer and divorcee and husbands in the street with good-looking wives, and that included her Don, were nervous about him. But as far as she knew, there had been no ‘incident’. She wasn’t sure if that meant Gus Matheson was gay but the manner in which he’d looked over her body in her tight brown leather suit it was unlikely he was gay.

Until today he’d always acted neutral towards her even when they exchanged a few words when she was alone walking her white Scottish terrier Molly. He’d been to their place twice times when they’d had neighbors in for drinks and she’s talked with him socially at neighbors’ houses involved in the cycle of such hosting but Gus had never return-hosted. Why not?

After removing her suit and hanging it, Kelly went to the kitchen and looked at the Neighborhood Watch phone list. She called Gus, feeling naughty, knowing she was dressed only in fine lingerie.

“Hi it’s Kelly. May I ask why haven’t you returned any hospitality you’ve received from neighbors including me, or have I missed something?”

“No you are quite right nailing me as being parasitic.”

“Gus, for heaven’s sake. I didn’t label you like that. You said some lovely things about me fifteen minutes ago and I was thinking somewhat fondly about you and my mind came up with the return hospitality question. I’m sorry I jumped straight into it without preamble but it was loaded like one of those top-of-mind things. I was going to add if you wish you can use our house as the venue and I’ll assist you.”

“Well thank you Kelly but by chance it happens to be all under control. I have been waiting for the big one. You and the other couples and solos in our Neighborhood Watch group will receive communication in tomorrow’s mail. Oh Kelly bear with me for having to say this to your but it’s top-of-mind. I didn’t appreciate before but you have wonderful legs. I happened to look back as you hitched up your skirt to climb back into your car. Amazing legs actually. Bye.”

Kelly hadn’t said ‘Bye’ because he’d cut the call before she could get her mouth open. Also her mind was in emotional riot. Ohmigod, she thought. Gus Matheson is a legman. She hadn’t knowingly been in contact with a legman since college. Don like most men focused on the chest of women and regarded her as being, in his words, ‘superbly stacked’ which didn’t mean they had to be like melons. He’d married her as a result of her personality he always said to people who inquired how they’d met. He’d backed out of his family’s home and hit her car, causing extensive damage. She was shocked by the impact and her first words to him were, “You are such a great looking guy. I guess this collusion was meant to happen.”

Yes, she’d always been a practical person and saying pleasant things, even under provocation, came naturally to her. The fact she’d fainted immediately after that, momentarily leaving Don thinking he’d killed her, was beside the point. Well if Gus Matheson wished to have an affair with her that was fine. She’d always thought, probably since the first lonely day after her marriage, she’d like one of those. It appeared only two downsides were involved… getting caught and the eventual break-up that could be nasty, or so authors who wrote about such things in their books or film scripts made out.

No, she sighed. Kelly Dryden of 14 Wentworth Avenue had never had an affair. That denial felt like each day looking at an unopened box of La Maison du Chocolate. Well she only worked mornings as an archivist at Langdon Community Hospital. Providing escort buca the kids were away at boarding school at the time, if Gus Matheson wished to feed her chocolates while doing unthinkable things to her any afternoon she was available then bring in on.

Kelly felt quite light-headed as she began preparing dinner, finding it difficult to believe of all the males she knew she’d picked Gus to perform the deed to dishonor her marriage.

Why Gus she whimpered?

Oh yeah, he’d noticed her hair, had fanaticized saying she was beautiful and, sigh, had noticed her legs. That placed him halfway in before she’d even really thought about it. Gus was halfway there because never since she’d known Don had he said she had lovely legs, not even when they were hooked over his shoulders. God, weren’t most men so callous?

Don came home looking a bit pale and Kelly thought a bit shaky. A couple of Martini’s fixed that. Then he unloaded. “We threw twenty-three people out of work at the plant today.”

“Oh god, how awful. And you dropped the axe on some of them?”

He nodded and turned to be hugged.

God weren’t men pussies at times? If she owned the plant where Don was director of production she’d close the whole damn show if necessary. Sometimes tough decisions had to be made. As an archivist with degrees in History and Library Science she knew that historically that’s how life was and some of the great fuck-ups in history had been caused by those with the call not having the guts to make it or failing to be ruthless enough.

That night she maneuvered and hooked her legs over Don’s shoulders before he ran out of steam.

“God we haven’t done it this way for a while?”

No Don and she were very aware of that but she remained pleasant. “Do you think I have lovely legs?”

He puffed, “Yeah they are okay… for a woman of your age.”

Miffed she squeezed down on his thrusts. Don disliked her doing that. He came, Kelly came and she pushed him away and went off to the bathroom.

“You made me come far too quickly,” he complained.

“I was being sympathetic,” she called. “You arrived home looking tired and distressed.”

“Oh yeah,” he said. “Thanks.”

He was asleep by the time she returned to bed less than three minutes later. So she’d been left to play with herself to get her off her high. Usually it required only a little massage from him to achieve the result she needed but tonight Kelly began thinking of Gus being in a sixty-nine with her and before she knew it she really went over the top and had to go to the bathroom again.

Ohmigod she thought, feeling secretions running down the inside of her thighs. You’re being a very naughty woman Kelly. In the bathroom she gave just the very sweetest of smiles into the mirror.

Kelly who worked from 9:00 to 1:00 arrived home next day and hurried in through the side door to pick up the mail off the black and white tiled floor behind the front door. In the kitchen she put Don’s mail in one pile, the junk mail in another pile for Don to peruse and attended to the household and her mail, leaving a big envelop in the household mail to read last. She made coffee and buttering a bagel with cottage cheese took that and the envelop to her TV chair and settled in to read the contents.

The commercially printed gold-rimmed card was addressed to all twelve couples and three solo home-occupiers in the Neighborhood Watch Group. It stated:

‘Gus Matheson invites all twenty-seven people listed above to be his guests at Drury Lane Restaurant this Saturday the 12th at noon for a champagne luncheon. Gus has been waiting for his big moment to come and it’s arrived. His 996-page book, ‘Living With Virginia’ is at present being printed in England. He has been advised that Mason-Malcolm Publishing believes it will quickly make it to its best-seller list. Virginia (real name Pam) divorced Gus six years ago and died from a brain clot eighteen months ago. Her death allowed Gus to base a novel on living four years with Virginia and coping with the four and a half years’ post-divorce and the year after her death, living just on memories and at times feeling her presence…imagined of course. He found closure six months ago. Gus has greatly appreciated the hospitality shown him by the Neighborhood Watch Group and as publication brings another kind of closure, this is his way of resuming a social life. He expects to soon resume work as a real estate agency commercial consultant. Gus looks forward to hosting you all this Saturday.’

There was a phone number to call to accept/decline but Kelly was fired up. She grabbed the lead and called Molly and minutes later knocked on the front door of Gus’ home.

“Oh hi, you are risking your reputation,” he grinned.

“Aren’t you going to ask me in?”

“Of course. You chose to take the risk.”

Once inside Kelly kissed him. Just a big friendly kiss and she didn’t push against him.

“What was that for?”

“For the time you endured in despair without Virginia.”

“Her buca escort bayan name was actually Pam but out of consideration…”

“For her family, I know. And I also know the name Pam in a book title would not motivate browsing buyers.”

“You are very bright and may I say beautiful.”

“Kiss me.”

He did so, beautifully.

“We accept your invitation. By the way, say hello to Molly.”

“Hello Molly you lovely doggie.”

Molly sniffed the offered hand and licked fingers. That interested Kelly because Molly almost never showed a liking to men. She didn’t even like Don or his father or her father. Her favorite was women who had dogs.

Kelly said primly, “There are two more things to say.”


“If your publisher is confident this book will make its best seller’s list, I don’t want you to return to real estate. You must continue writing. They’ll be wanting your next manuscript.”

“They are already pestering me.”

“Well there you are.”

“Thank you for your opinion Kelly but I really don’t think…”

Kelly sighed and opening the door said, “Listen Gus. Men are not always good at making decisions that substantially impinge on themselves. They are great making decisions for other people. Please think seriously about my advice.”

“Okay I will.”

Kelly was out on the porch and stepping on the first of four steps when Gus said, “The other thing, you said you had two things to tell me?”

“Oh that,” Kelly said softly and not turning to look back. “That is not nearly as important. I’m ready to have an affair with you.”

She walked on in silence, smiling, knowing two green eyes were drilling into her back. When she turned to close the gate he waved at her and she waved back, not smiling. The no smile was meant to confuse him.

When Don had a cocktail in his hand he was told about Saturday lunch. “You better find a three to tee off early. I’m not going to that lunch alone.”

“What, a lunch is more important than golf?”

“Christ Don, our near-recluse neighbor is coming out. We must be there to support him.”

“Okay, there’s not need to use that language.”

Kelly handed him the card that Don read intently.



“This book will be the greatest bore ever. A thousand fucking pages about a guy lamenting about his wife divorcing him and then dying on him and then continuing his grief afresh.”

“It’s called love.”

“Kelly I’d be hard pressed to write one hundred pages about life with you.”

“I can believe that Don,” Kelly said darkly. “But you are an engineer, not a romantic.”

Don grinned and said that because Kelly was the best-looking woman on the street perhaps she should give their big-writing author as taste of her pussy to tempt him back into associating with women again.

“Don’t be disgusting.”

Don grinned and dug his fingers into his wife’s thigh.

She said huskily, “Do you really think I’m the best looking women in our avenue?”

Licking his lips Don pulled Kelly closer and she came forward without resistance.

* * *

Dark haired Gus tugged at his erection. The thirty-four year old had been feeling in need of a woman for a few days. His sister’s friend Dinah was due home from vacation in a few days. On most occasions Gus only had to call her and they’d meet, either that night or the next. Her husband was usually out every other night.

He felt very warm and his breath became ragged as he wondered if Kelly’s pussy looked just like a peach, two smooth and slightly fat lips, or did the flaps protrude and hang down like Dinah’s? His balls ached and he felt pressure behind his eyes as he ejaculated. Fuck, he’d been sitting on the john with the seat down and the first and second streams reached halfway to the door. Whoopee, that distance was impressive.

Kelly Dryden was Gus’ favorite female in their part of the avenue. She was probably the sexiest as well, although he’d never thought of her as kindly taking his cock to appease him. She was pretty classy. No he’d like her because her personality matched her looks. She was always pleasant and wore her huge smile lightly and aimed it at everyone, not just him.

As far as he knew, she’d never focused on him. Therefore he’d not seriously thought of shafting her. Oh he’d thought about it but not as mission probable. God, a half an hour ago she’d invited him to fuck her. And it wasn’t because of the book or the celebratory lunch… he knew her manner had changed the previous day when he opened her driveway gates for her. He’d received an email from his publisher that morning advising printing had commenced and because of that he’d been walking tall. So he’d told Kelly she was beautiful and had watched in astonishment as she turned her blue eyes on him in wonderment and then gave him her greatest smile that turned his knees to jelly.

His cock had stirred, ready to crow. Well, whatever and then this afternoon Kelly had called on him, walking inside buca escort the door to kiss him fearlessly. And then as she was leaving announcing she was ready to have an affair with him. The book and lunch announcements may have initiated that declaration but she would have been thinking about him and his dick since being told the previous day she was beautiful. Kelly was rolling close to forty and probably no one spoke to her fulsomely about her appearance these days.

Gus washed and dried his crotch at then turned and looked down admiringly at the farthest point of his ejaculation. Was that a world record?

He made lunch and took it outside. Although the season was racing through spring the sun was still weak but he was warmly dressed and it was the place to be drinking a beer and munching salad. He though about Kelly. Who should make the first move — him or her?

Where would they go?

Their houses were no good because neighbors would see something and suspect something was going on. That could be ruinous for Kelly.

Who the hell was responsible for making adultery so difficult?

His mind exploded. There it was, a vision of his next book, complete with working title: ‘BOOK TWO: ‘Virginia’s Replacement’.

Nothing of course in his new story would place suspicion on Kelly.

After lunch Gus worked on a proposal for his publisher. He sent it off and although it would have been 7:30 at night in London he received a reply from the commissioning editor thirty minutes later: “Go to it at pace. Quick sequels always succeed. A generous advance is in the mail. Don’t let me down. Grace’.

Feeling the need to talk Gus called Kelly.

“Hi. How will we accomplish it?”

“Gus? Oh god,” she whispered. “You can’t talk to me about that. I have two girlfriends in the next room.”

“I’ve run into a wall; it’s too hard for me. It needs a woman’s mind. Call me at your convenience. Bye.”

* * *

Kelly snapped her phone shut. God, Gus was going to do it with her and was now attempting to shovel the arrangements for an adulterous relationship on to her. Well she had been thinking her life was becoming a bit dull. She now had something to chew on. The prize for a satisfactory outcome would be chewing Gus. Chewing? Well she knew what she meant.

Kelly returned to the day room where Jocelyn and Maggie were slowly demolishing their slice of cream cake.

“You’re flushed — are you okay?” Jocelyn asked.

“Yes, I loaded a file this morning on to our section’s data-base without running the anti-virus and now I have infected our system with something called ‘You Stupid Bitch’,” Kelly lied.

Her friends looked horrified.

“Actually it’s minor and that’s the name our IT manager used when telling me what it was because the Latin name is near-impossible to pronounce for an IT person. She just wanted to check that was the only download I hadn’t pre-scanned. It is somewhat embarrassing because I’m regarded within the department as the perfectionist.”

“God, your work sounds terrifyingly complex,” Maggie said.

“Nope, much like buttering bread but I am required to be meticulous to ensure the integrity of our archives.”

“I’m not sure was an archive at a hospital is. Some sort of historical repository I suppose.”

“Of our records, yes. An excellent description for it Jocelyn.”

“Give me an example of its benefit.”

“Well Jocelyn if you were treated by our hospital for say an STD when you were at college, that might be of interest one day to a researcher attempting to discover how many students — male as well as female — that infected guy soiled and was he the primary source or was he just one of several carriers on campus.”

“But both times I was treated at our family doctor not at hospital,” Jocelyn and then tailed off, looking horrified.

“It’s okay Jocelyn, it happened to me, Maggie said. “Also twice but it was pretty minor, both times handled with one-shot antibiotic cures.”

“My scare proved to be thrush,” Kelly said. “I was so disappointed I’d not earned my badge of courage like you guys in getting anything from Trichomoniasis upwards.”

“God, we’re eating,” Maggie moaned. “Can you talk about something less threatening to the digestive system?”

Jocelyn asked, “How’s your new car Maggie?”

“Lovely but needs to go in because it has a noise in the rear end.”

“Probably an STD,” Kelly quipped and they fell about laughing.

Don went out bowling that evening with his pals so Kelly called Gus.

“Hi, sorry I couldn’t talk comfortably when you called earlier.”

Gus said that was okay and he assumed she was free to talk now.

“Yes, Don is out. Are you sure you want to do it with me?”

“Are you crazy,” he laughed. “Of course I do.”


He laughed even louder and asked had she ever had an extramarital affair?

“No but I don’t believe that ought to be the reason for not having one.”

“I agree.”


“Yes, come on, ask away.”

“Have you had any women since your divorce?”

“Yes, a few but only one reasonably regularly. She’s a married friend of my sister’s and accepts I need sex from someone.”

“Oh how sweet.”

“You are such a sweet person you cannot help but make comments like that, can you?”

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