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Authors Note: As always, my stories are based on true recounted events, sometimes my own but more often retold to be by friends. I find there is something in the reality of true events that make it better, more fun, and more believable. This is the story of Paula, as seen through her eyes and told through her voice. Paula’s story is a one of strange circumstances, which caused an otherwise ordinary rite of passage to be somewhat different when experienced by a woman in her late 20s.
I used to be rather embarrassed by the whole thing, but I guess that’s what age does for us…time lets us be a bit more honest and upfront about our past. For me, what once was a source of profound embarrassment is now something I can not only laugh at, but one I am very grateful for. And it makes for a good story!
A bit of context. I was a late bloomer emotionally. I was shy in high school. My mother was a television exec, and my uncle was somewhat of a B celebrity. But unlike most Hollywood kids, I didn’t grow up wanting to be a star. Far from it. I was shy. I didn’t want to follow in mom’s footsteps, nor did I seek attention, let alone fame, in any way shape or form.
L.A. high schools weren’t big on dating when I was in there, but rather we hung out in groups, then just kind of hooked up here and there. Like most girls, I did go out on dates on a few occasions, though it wasn’t very common. For me that amounted to dates that ranged from horrible to wonderful, with wonderful being “really liking the guy” or making out as the night went on. But for me that meant never going all the way.
I remember the first boy I kissed, Bradley, or Brad as most called him. He was cute, fun, and we kissed a lot on the couple of dates we went on. Jon was the first boy who felt me up, which was kind of funny. My girlfriends used to talk about boys feeling their boobs, and that it was a sign they liked you, but I always thought it was just a sign of them wanting to “get to second base”.
In college things got a little more intense. Freshman year, which for me was away from home but still in California. College is where I encountered “heavy petting”. Boy, did I hate that term, but it’s what we called it back then. It was the first time I touched a guy’s dick, and the first time I let a guy finger me, though those happened at different times. I gave Dave a hand job, which wasn’t really a hand job. He unzipped his pants, and I reached for his cock, and about 10 seconds later he came. It was a bit of a surprise for both of us, and nothing to be proud of. After a lot of vodka, and some coaxing, I let Lance put his hand down my pants. It was okay, but he was hammered, and to be honest, I was just trying to avoid have him fuck me, so I let me go that far.
Then came Ian. Ian was the first love of my life. He was gorgeous.
I’d like to think I was somewhat attractive at 19, but at 19 he was amazing. I was always wondering what it was about me that attracted him. There were lots of So Cal hotties at our school, and I always thought he could have had any one of them.
We became friends during sophmore year, and lovers during the summer before senior year. He was my first, the first boy I wanted to fuck, and the first boy I let fuck me. Back then I thought of “saving myself” for the right guy, and Ian seemed like the right guy.
Here’s where the story turns again. Ian had been in a bicycle accident as a young boy, and had one of his testicles badly damaged. So much so that the doctors removed it. Probably wouldn’t happen now, but then, that was the treatment. As a result, Ian had a thing about “down there”.
That first time was pretty wonderful. We had known each other awhile, and had gone out a bunch of times. We made out, we both seemed to like each other, and it was time to go further. I remember it like yesterday, in large part because we were both sober. We had gone to the beach at sunset for a picnic, and one thing led to another. We found a little spot between a lifeguard tower and some rocks, and we made love. I had on a skirt, which I had hiked up as we made out. I helped him unbutton his jeans. In short order, we were past the point of no return.
It didn’t seem strange at the time, but whenever my hands got close to his dick, he shifted. I wanted to feel him in my hand, and I wanted to give him a hand job to get him hard before we fucked, but his shifting prevented it. In the heat of the moment I just went with it, and soon he was inside me. He was gentle, and despite my girlfriends talking so often about bad first times, mine was pretty good. I didn’t orgasm, but I sure loved the intimacy, his body, and the overall feeling. I loved it when he came, and I felt I had done a good job of helping.
Ian and I dated much of senior year. It was a bit of on-again-off-again, as college romances are. We graduated at the same time, and kept up our relationship, for the most part, for two more years.
The sex was okay. Fucking was good, but during that senior semester he told me about his accident. He was extremely sensitive pendik escort about his missing testicle. Honestly, I didn’t care in the slightest, but he did, and I didn’t press matters. Hand jobs were okay, but only on the cock itself. Balls were off limits. And while other girls were blowing guys left and right, that just wasn’t in the cards. Everytime I even got close he shut me down. I didn’t really know better at the time, so we just continued with our once or twice a week fuck.
We weren’t always together after graduation, but we were together more than we weren’t. And whenever we broke up, I always thought we’d get back together. Which meant any guys I went out with during the “breaks” weren’t gonna get much satisfaction.
Just before I turned 24, he got a job in the mid-west. It was with a good company, and for a pretty big raise in salary, and he took it. We both assumed that I would move there, too, in time, but that time never came around. Frequent trips to see each other got less frequent. The phone calls came less often. And by the time I was 25, we found ourselves not drifting, but already drifted, apart.
For many, it would be a time of trying new things, but for me, it was the opposite. I’d received a promotion at work, of which I was very proud, and wanted to work hard at to prove I was worth it. My father, divorced from my mother when I was young, whom I hadn’t spoken to since college graduation, called to tell me he had Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I tried to rekindle our relationship, but we had never been close, and this didn’t make us any closer. He died that year.
I basically took a two year break from guys.
But enough of the sad stuff. Let’s get to fun bit.
My friend Rosie had tickets to a concert and asked me to go. It was for a solo artist who, I’ll just say, had been in a really successful band, but now he was going solo. You’d all know the name if I said it.
Turns out Rosie’s boss did PR for venue, and we scored backstage passes.
After the concert, which as good, but not great, we went backstage. In truth, we didn’t like paying $10 for drinks during the show, and we each felt like a little something after the show, and figured they’d have booze backstage.
We found Rosie’s boss, and he ushered us around. We started in the press room, which just about anyone could get in to. We then went to the manager’s makeshift office, which as a little more select. There was a great spread there, with a full bar, seafood on ice, and of all things, a “taco bar”.
Rosie’s boss told us he’d was working on getting us to the dressing room to meet the headliner, and that we should just get something to eat and drink while he worked his magic.
I had just gotten a small plate of shrimp when a voice came from right behind me.
“Put them in a tortilla, with a little salsa. You won’t regret it.”
I turned to see an olive-skinned guy, probably in his 30s, smiling at me. He was kind of sweaty, which made me feel a fit sketchy.
“Hi, I’m Faraj,” he said.
I was a bit surprised. I could only manage a simple response. “Hi, I’m Paula.”
“Hi Paula. You really should have a shot of tequila with it as well. Ask the bartender for ‘reposado’, it’s our favorite. Bottle is behind the bar, so you won’t see it.”
And just like that he was off, walking quickly away.
He was totally not my type. Ian was a surf dude, blond and blue eyed. I liked surf dudes.
Faraj was Persian. He didn’t sound it, and his clothes were pure rock and roll, but his name, his olive skin, and deep brown/black hair were straight from the Arabian peninsula.
Before he was too far he turned back, and said, “Hope you enjoyed our show.”
Wait, what? ‘Our show?’ My brained hit reverse…our show…was he in the…oh, shit! He was in the band. I quickly scanned my memory of the stage…he was the bass player!
I grabbed for Rosie, who was busy saying something to her boss, and had missed our whole exchange. Her boss whisked us into the next room, and we worked our way through a crowd of B-list celebrities on our way to meeting the headline. He seemed a nice enough guy, but it was kind of like he was holding court, as people worked their way up to him, shook hands, told him how great he was, and moved on, often with the help of the headliner’s handlers.
After our “brush with greatness”, Rosie and I said our thanks to her boss, and headed out.
Literally at the back door to the backstage area, as we were leaving, a hand grabbed my arm.
“Paula, right? Can I call you sometime?”
“Uh, sure,” I blurted out.
“Here’s my number. I’m back in town in two weeks. Let’s have dinner.”
“Okay,” I said, only then remembering his name, “Faraj.”
He smiled, and we went our separate ways, like jet planes passing at high speed.
Rosie was clueless about the encounter, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it myself. But something was sparked in me, something I hadn’t felt in a while. In two years, to be exact.
So, if you’re expecting escort pendik a sex tale about a romp with the bass player in a rock band, I am sorry to disappoint. That’s a different story. This one is about the sex leading up to that.
Faraj and I did meet for dinner a few weeks later. He lived in Los Angeles but traveled a lot. The band was touring, and they were busy recording a follow up album in London, which meant the better part of a year of commuting to the UK.
Dinner was amazing, and he was a perfect gentleman. He dropped me off at my apartment after a wonderful meal and hours of talk. We kissed, and I felt like a 16-year-old all over again.
He told me he would be in and out of town for a while, but asked to see me again, to which I said yes.
I was hot for this guy. And the more I thought about it, I realized it was not just infatuation. He was a great guy, handsome, and a gentleman, but this was the first guy in, well, a long time, that I wanted to have sex with. Let’s just say that in the weeks that followed, I imagined a lot of scenarios with him.
It had never really bothered me before, but my lack of ‘oral’ experience seemed to nag at me. I was now 27 and had never sucked a guy’s dick. In those college years, it was always chocked up to shyness, which I always used as an excuse to cover up Ian’s reticence. In the years to follow, I just avoided the topic when it came up.
Back then most girls learned the craft by doing. Now girls watch porn on the Internet. But it was a skill I never for which I was not educated, and I was too embarrassed to ask about at my age.
This was the 90s, just before the Internet got really popular. It was there, but high speed wasn’t, and that made surfing the web pretty slow. Which means porn in the privacy of your own home wasn’t easy. And for a single girl in her 20s like me, going to a porn shop was out of the question. Heck, even Monica Lewinsky sucked presidential dick in the 90s, but I was not in the club.
Rosie and I met for drinks after work one Friday, as we often did. Rosie had a boyfriend, but he worked long hours, and Friday night was never a big party or date night for them. But a few other friends would often join us, and on this night Bill came along.
Bill and I worked together right out of school, and we’d both since moved jobs, but kept up the friendship. He was a perennial dater, but whenever he wasn’t out with or seeing someone, he’d join us for a drink or two.
On this night, Rosie had a bit of a headache, and opted to go home after our first drink. Bill and I ordered another round, and we said our goodbyes to Rosie.
Somewhere between our second and third drinks, after discussing his latest breakup, I posed him the question that was nagging at me.
“So, I have a serious question for you,” I said, trying to set the stage for a serious discussion about sex. “How much do guys really like blow jobs?”
Bill’s eyebrows raised up a good inch from their resting position as he sipped his beer. “Ah, well, I guess on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being that they love ’em, I’d say about a 12.”
I laughed, and he smiled.
“Why, may I ask, are you asking?”
I swore him to secrecy, because I hadn’t really even said much to Rosie about him. I don’t know why, there was no real reason. I guess I was just sort of protecting my ego. I explained how I had gone out with this rock and roll guy, and planned on seeing him again.
And that I wanted to have sex with him.
And that I had never given a guy a blow job, and that I assumed this guy would, well, expect it.
“You now, most guys I know don’t ‘demand’ it,” he said. “The first time you’re with a new woman you pretty much just want sex, and most of the time any sex will do.”
He paused, and his smile turned to a puzzled look.
“Paula, if you don’t mind my asking, how have you had boyfriends and long-term relationships, and never given a blow job?”
Embarrassed, but knowing I had brought it up, I explained it by reliving my story.
“Huh,” he said. “I guess that makes sense. But I wouldn’t worry about it. Now, just like you, I personally have never given a blow job, but I will say I’ve been on the receiving end a good number of times, and I don’t think it’s too difficult to pick up.”
We both laughed.
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right,” I said with a nervous laugh, as if I believed that myself.
And that was that. For about 3 days.
Then I had to call.
“Bill, it’s Paula, how are you doing?”
“Hey, Paula, good, and you?”
“Good,” I said, hiding a gulp I didn’t want him to hear as I summoned up courage. “You’re not seeing anyone right now, are you?”
“Can you keep what I’m about to ask between the two of us?”
“Well, I was wondering if you would teach me to give a blow job,” I said with a feigned confidence.
“You heard me,” I said, almost defensively. “I want to learn. I don’t want to be a naïve bimbo when I see this guy again. He called pendik escort bayan me last night and he’s back in town next week, and asked if I had plans for the weekend. I am pretty sure sex is on the agenda.”
Chuckling, Bill said, “Yeah, I’d say so. Ah, so what do you want to know?”
“I want you to tell me how I should give a blow job.”
The phone was silent.
“Yeah, ah, what do you mean you want me to tell you?”
“I want to come over to your place, and I want you to tell me what to do, you know, how to start, what guys like, the whole thing.”
Now he showed a bit of nervousness in his laugh. “Tell you…how to give a guy a blow job…really?”
“Ah, okay. Anything for a friend, I guess,” he said laughingly, to which I laughed, too.
“How’s tonight?” I said.
“Tonight?” he said, not hiding his surprise.
“Yeah, tonight. Right now. Before I chicken out.”
And with that, I grabbed my purse, checked myself in the mirrored, and realized it didn’t really matter, and I headed out.
I thought of turning back, about 10 times, but finally made it to his street. It took me about 15 minutes to get to Bill’s place, and I knew I just needed to do this. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to. It was that I was so embarrassed to have to ask, and so scared to feel so inexperienced.
I knocked at his door, and Bill let me in. He offered me a drink, but I told him no, I wanted to be sober for this.
We sat on his couch, and I figured I’d break the ice. “So, where does the whole blow job thing fit into the sex game? Is it first, is it last?”
Chuckling, Bill said, “It can be first, it can be last, it can be part of whole night of sex, or sometimes it’s the only thing.”
He could see the troubled look on my face, so he continued. “Paula, you’re stressing over this, I’d even say obsessing over it. And you really don’t need to.”
“Okay, tell me about your last blow job.” It was as if the more times I said ‘blow job’ the easier it would get. But it didn’t.
“Remember that girl named Karen, I brought her to Rosie’s dinner party, well that night-.”
“That night, you told us that was your first real date with her!”
“Yes, it was.”
“And she sucked your dick?”
“Yeah, and she fucked my brains out, too. And we did a bunch of other stuff,”
“Okay, okay, I get the picture,” I said, calming down. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Well we went back to her place, and her roommate was gone for the weekend, so she invited me in. She poured a glass of wine, we turned on Netflix, and started making out. It got pretty hot, and pretty soon clothes started coming off.”
“Like your pants?”
“Well, actually she took her blouse off first, then her bra, and I took my shirt off. And after a while of fooling around, she moved down…there.”
“She initiated it?”
“Let her. It was nice.”
“So it’s just a thing you do, then, huh? Whenever it feels right?”
“Pretty much. Think of sex like a menu at the Chinese restaurant…you can order a la carte, or the full meal. It’s good either way.”
Yes, he actually equated it to Chinese food. I look back at it now and have a hard time keeping a straight face telling it.
“So let’s talk about how you do it…what are some tips, what are things guys like?”
“Well, every guy is probably a little different, but let’s talk about a few key things,” he said, with the eloquence of a college professor. “First off, it’s called a blow job, but there is very little blowing. For a good blow job, at least in my opinion, there should be a lot more sucking than blowing.”
“Next, some guys like a little teeth, but not many of them. Most guys want lips and tongues…and throats.”
“Throats?” I said surprisingly. “What do you mean, throats?”
“We’re getting a bit ahead of ourselves, but suffice to say some girls like to take all of a guy in the mouth, you know, all the way. It’s called ‘deep throating’.”
My eyes popped a bit, as that had never occurred to me, but as I thought about it, it kinda made sense, and I shrugged a brief nod of approval for him to go on.
“So before we get too far, let me tell you my own thoughts on doing this. If a girl, the first time she’s over, goes right for the dick and blow job, it might put a guy off.”
“And he won’t want the blow job, eh?”
“Oh, no, he wants the blow job, but the girl might have just gotten written off the girlfriend list. The guy will assume she has done it before, probably often. So he’ll take the blow job, but may not call her again.”
I nodded understanding, as if I had just learned an important theory in school.
“I personally like it when a girl takes a little time. Maybe you make out a bit, maybe your hands start getting touchy feeling with each other. And sooner or later her hand reaches for you cock.”
“And then go for it?”
“No, I actually like a little tease. Karen let her hand rub me through my jeans, and I got pretty excited, thinking I was going to get a hand job. But after a little bit, she unbuttoned my pants, and just when I was hoping for her hand to go down my pants, she moved her head down there.”
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